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Chapter 21: Observation of OneselfIntimate self-observation is a practical means to achieve a radical transformation.
To know and to observe are different. Many confuse observation of oneself with knowing. We may know that we are sitting on a chair in a living room, but this does not mean that we are observing the chair. We know that in a given moment we are in a negative state, perhaps thinking about a problem, or perhaps we are worried about this or that, or we are in a state of uneasiness or uncertainty, but this does not mean that we are observing it. |
Do you feel hostility towards someone? Is there someone you don’t get on well with? Why? You may say you know that person. Please! Observe that person. To know is never the same as to observe. Do not confuse knowing with observing.
The observation of oneself, which is one hundred percent active, is a way to change oneself, while knowing, which is passive, is not.
Certainly, knowing is not an act of attention. Attention directed within oneself, towards what is happening in our interior, is something positive, active.
In the case of a person whom we dislike without good reason, and simply because we feel that way, we become aware of the multitude of thoughts which accumulate in the mind, the group of voices that talk and shout in disorder within us, the things they are saying, the unpleasant motions which arise in our interior, and the unpleasant taste that all this leaves in our psyche, etc, etc., etc.
Obviously, in such a state, we also realize that internally, we are badly mistreating the person we dislike. But, in order to see all this, unquestionably one needs one’s attention directed intentionally within oneself, not passive attention.
Dynamic attention really comes from the side of the observer, while thoughts and emotions belong to the side of the observed.
All this leads us to understand that knowing is something completely passive and mechanical, in clear contrast with observation of the self, which is a conscious act.
With this, we do not want to say that mechanical self observation does not exist, but, that type of observation has nothing to do with the psychological self-observation to which we are referring.
To think and to observe are also very different. Any person may enjoy the luxury of thinking about himself all he wants, but this is not to say that he is really observing himself.
We need to see the different “I’s” in action, to discover them in our psyche, to comprehend that, within each one of them, there is a percentage of our own consciousness, and to repent for having created them.
Then, we shall exclaim, “But what is this “I” doing?” “What is it saying?” “What does it want?” “Why does it torment me with its lust, with its anger?” etc., etc., etc.
Thus, we will see in ourselves a vast train of thoughts, emotions, desires, passions, private comedies, personal dramas, elaborate lies, discourses, excuses, morbosities, beds of pleasure, images of lust, etc., etc., etc.
Many times before falling asleep, at the precise instant of transition between waking and sleep, we become aware, within our own mind, of different voices that talk amongst themselves.
Those are the different “I’s” which, in such moments, have to break all connection with the different centers of our organic machine in order to submerge themselves in the molecular world, in the fifth dimension.
The observation of oneself, which is one hundred percent active, is a way to change oneself, while knowing, which is passive, is not.
Certainly, knowing is not an act of attention. Attention directed within oneself, towards what is happening in our interior, is something positive, active.
In the case of a person whom we dislike without good reason, and simply because we feel that way, we become aware of the multitude of thoughts which accumulate in the mind, the group of voices that talk and shout in disorder within us, the things they are saying, the unpleasant motions which arise in our interior, and the unpleasant taste that all this leaves in our psyche, etc, etc., etc.
Obviously, in such a state, we also realize that internally, we are badly mistreating the person we dislike. But, in order to see all this, unquestionably one needs one’s attention directed intentionally within oneself, not passive attention.
Dynamic attention really comes from the side of the observer, while thoughts and emotions belong to the side of the observed.
All this leads us to understand that knowing is something completely passive and mechanical, in clear contrast with observation of the self, which is a conscious act.
With this, we do not want to say that mechanical self observation does not exist, but, that type of observation has nothing to do with the psychological self-observation to which we are referring.
To think and to observe are also very different. Any person may enjoy the luxury of thinking about himself all he wants, but this is not to say that he is really observing himself.
We need to see the different “I’s” in action, to discover them in our psyche, to comprehend that, within each one of them, there is a percentage of our own consciousness, and to repent for having created them.
Then, we shall exclaim, “But what is this “I” doing?” “What is it saying?” “What does it want?” “Why does it torment me with its lust, with its anger?” etc., etc., etc.
Thus, we will see in ourselves a vast train of thoughts, emotions, desires, passions, private comedies, personal dramas, elaborate lies, discourses, excuses, morbosities, beds of pleasure, images of lust, etc., etc., etc.
Many times before falling asleep, at the precise instant of transition between waking and sleep, we become aware, within our own mind, of different voices that talk amongst themselves.
Those are the different “I’s” which, in such moments, have to break all connection with the different centers of our organic machine in order to submerge themselves in the molecular world, in the fifth dimension.
